Movies One Must See Before They Croak

Not to mention that Crouch already has a girlfriend...

OHHH JUNIORS IN TROUBLEEEEEE
(Ok, now whose a child?)

Yeeeaahhh you win Death!


RETREAT!!!

Busted Junior. Now, hand her over.

-Hands her over- Go ahead, I have someone real

Don't worry you'll find someone!

dont worry death, our not the only one

Anyone notice how we went from a good movie to being alone forever? O.o

Seriously! No more downers awesome people! You'll find someone!

At least I'm alone with friends

-raises eyebrows-
You know, i have this talent.
its an amazing talent
its called 'I can scare off guys without doing a single thing.'

At least they notice you. I can't get a girl to look twice at me.

See what you started, junior?

Yeah, it's all your fault Crouch.

Yeaaaahhh... I think I'm just gonna.... *awkwardly walks away*

*points to something in the distance* OH LOOK SOMETHING UNRELATED!!! *runs*

The Godfather

So this was a movie I've seen recently and it's so incredible that it has skyrocketed into one of my favorite movies of all time!

Why is it so impressive? Because well... it's perfect. 
Yes I know this is a very vague description but I don't think any words I could write would do this gangster movie justice (pun intended).
The acting was perfect. The actors WERE their characters and the characters were all human beings. All the emotions came through and you felt for each character.
The story was perfect. It was a perfect transformation story that was so realistic that even real life gangsters found themselves liking the movie because of how close it was to their lives.
The setting was perfect, completely immersing us in the time period and mood that was conveyed. 
There wasn't a single thing I didn't like about this movie. It's some of Francis Ford Coppola's best work and it's actually the second greatest film in American cinema, only losing out to Citizen Kane. 

So please, by everything holy and otherwise, SEE THIS MOVIE!! It is transcendent and that is a word I almost never use!

Guardians of the Galaxy

Of all the marvel movies made post-Avengers, this is the film that gets closest to it. It was hilarious, awesome and just overall fun. I know I wanted to jump up and kick some ass during the fighting scenes. One thing I particularly loved was the irreverence the characters had, it really set them apart from the heroes we have seen so far from the marvel universe. All the main characters were awesome in their own right.

I remember when I first saw the trailer, 'Are you kidding me? A tree, a raccoon, and cheesy sci-fi make-up, give me a break!' Fortunately I was 100% wrong. I didn't even know these characters or even series existed until this movie. And furthermore, the unconventionality of these heroes is exactly what made them so cool! 

I think my favorite part of the movie was Rocket the Raccoon. He embodied everything good about the movie, the tone, the hilarity, the badassery, just everything!

I VERY highly recommend seeing this one folks! Please see it soon!

So I watched The Game last night....

My brain still hurts from trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Crouch, explain please.

Okay so... *cracks knuckles*

  Oh my shit, I've forgotten the explanation of that movie!

Hold on folks!

I still haven't figured it out... I think I kind of understand it, but not really.

Transformers 
The first one

*millions of guns point at my head*
Hear me out...

I'm not saying Michael Bay is a good director or anything, I'm not. He's one of my least favorite people in the industry currently and it baffles me that enough idiots exist to keep him in business. 

HOWEVER!!!

However...

There is something to be said about the first Transformers movie. Do I think it's a masterpiece? Hell no. I know it has problems and everything but consider this. Movie adaptations of classic source material like Transformers is EXTREMELY hard to do. For series like Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles, all they had to do then was put an actor in a costume. But what do you do with robots the size of skyscrapers that have to emote, fight, think, talk and of course transform? 

Well, enter Michael Bay and his team. They took this:


And made it this:


As you can see, it's faithful to the original design while still putting a modern edge to it. If I asked you which of these two robots could turn into a car, you'd tell me the second one easily. 

The transformation scenes in this movie was one of it's central winning points for me. They were extremely well done, to the point where you could see each individual gear move to form a new transformer or vehicle. We've never seen anything like it before. 

And the action was very impressive, again playing to Michael Bay's strengths as a director. Not to mention the sheer weight of the movie and music choice was very good.

So why do I praise the first film yet thoroughly despise the other ones?

Large ass rant I didn't mean to start writing follows:

I have to disagree with you Crouch. I don't think that you HAVE to see this movie before you croak. I think that, yes, the action was good and the transformation from boxy robots to legit looking machines is great, but the plot was seriously lacking. The characters were (for the most part) deuchbags and I only watch it now (if forced) for Bumblebee. That's it.

Okay maybe 'seeing before you croak' is a bit of a stretch. I just wanted something a bit controversial. I don't like this movie enough to defend it because, let's face it, it's flawed beyond belief. But with everything negative people say about Transformers (which I'm 1000% behind by the way) I thought it only fair to show the positive stuff too.

Okay. I'll give you that.

Tim Burton's Batman Films

So you got Tim Burton, one of the greatest and darkest visual artist of our time, directing two movies about one of the greatest and darkest heroes of our time. Kind of a guaranteed win, don't you think?

The only other superhero movie that existed before this one was Superman which really set the bar for comic book movies that I would argue continues to be followed to this day. But then this film came out and set it as a standard to be adhered to.

Needless to say, the visual style is stylised and grand as you would expect from Tim Burton. But unlike his film Alice in Wonderland, the visual style isn't the only selling point. They're surprising complicated stories but the complexity I feel is good. I mean, in a comic book you see Gotham City as nothing more than the city Batman operates in. But in these movies, they add a political atmosphere to it as well as more mundane ones like citizens and such. This helped to establish Gotham City not as a comic book city but as a real city. Not to mention the complexity helped to show Batman as a man rather than just a hero. 
I don't know if I'm coming across well with this point but yeah.

Micheal Keaton remains to date one of the standards that all future Batman actors are compared to. He does a really good job being both Bruce Wayne and Batman. He even works in a issue with duality which combines both Bruce Wayne AND Batman to make it more believable that a common man would choose to operate as a masked vigilante. He captured the ordinary man hiding something and the forceful caped crusader all in one.
Fun fact, critics were originally opposed to Micheal Keaton playing Batman because they couldn't see him in the role. That's precisely why he's so perfect for it! You wouldn't suspect him to be Batman! He acts so unassumingly as Bruce Wayne you'd never imagine him to be the dark knight! He didn't need a ridiculous voice to disguise his identity, just his actions were enough.

Two complaints I could make is they didn't stay completely true to the original source material, namely for the bad guys origins. Secondly, they both appear very dated. But even those complaints are minor. 
One: Sure the villains origins were different but they still held up as good villains and fit the tone of their movies. Also it's an adaptation. Changes are inevitable.
Two: They ARE dated. They were made back when effects we take for granted were just being developed. So it's important to appreciate the time period these were made in when you watch these movies. 

It's too bad Burton stops after two of them, and then... begins the reign of terror of Joel Schumacher...