Really bad jokes

just because it was sparked off in the great hall, and now i have them in my head.

What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese

Here's the sick ones:
What does little girl get for a Christmas?
A brain tumor.

Why doesn't little girl play the piano?
Because she has no hands.

What does little girl with no hands do in a gym?
Watch.

Why isn't little girl playing with her classmater?
Because she died on her birth.

o_o i cannot think of any, i've got a joke blank.

OH WAIT... (these are racist, be warned)

'People say there is safety in numbers. Tell that to six million Jews.'

'What's the difference between a chav and a lampost?
a lampost occassionally works.'

the chav one is so true though...


A man was going through some old boxes in the attic and found an old oil lamp. Rubbing it to get the grim off a Genie appears! I will grant you three wishes and your wife shall get double.
His three wishes: To recieve a million dollars (his wife recieved two); to have a sports car (his wife recieved two); and the third and last wish
The man asked to be beated half to death...

it is! and River, i love that one :3

i would say more distasteful jokes but...

oh, trust me, i am sure mine are alot worse....

i'll think on it, im having a block at the moment (ive heard some really nasty ones as well xD)

what do you call a nun that walks in her sleep?
A roamin' Catholic!

Why was the dog lying down?
It got hit by a car.

Happy Birthday River! (It is your birthday, right?)

yeah, it is. thanks:)

Okay, so I'm walking down the street and I see an old man and he's crying. I walk up to him and ask, "Hey what's the matter old timer?"

He says to me, "Well I just got married to this beautiful woman, she absolutely loves me! The second I walk in the door she massages my feet, has dinner prepared, the bills paid, and she's unbelievable at night!

I look at him confused, "Well those all sound really good, what are you crying about?

He says, "I can't remember where I live"

thats brilliant. lol

So an atheist is walking in the woods and suddenly a bear starts chasing him. As he runs he says "Oh God please help me!"

God starts talking to him, "Why should I help you? You've denied me for so many years"

The atheist says, "Fair enough, but at least make the bear Christian"

God grants the man this request and all of a sudden the bear drops to a praying position and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for the bountiful meal..."

ahh, i heard that one in school last year. the amount of christain related jokes, you would never guess it was a catholic school.

Lol Crouch that Christian one was bad! XD I know I should be offended but it was just too funny to be offended.

I don't know any jokes at the moment, hopefully I'll think of one later though.

Did you hear about the joke where a guy walks into a bar?

He said 'ouch'.


-shot-

Two guys walk into a bar.
one to the other 'You would have thought one of us would have seen it.'

@Riv:

haah.
Hahah.
Hah.
aaahhhh.

cynder, i am queen of awful jokes. im always coming out with them

these made me laugh! c:

....... I dont get it but I am okay with that lol.

liria, there, just proving how bad our jokes really are.

Q. What do you get if you cross the atlantic with the titanic?

A. About half way.


My dad has a whole book of bad jokes xD

Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I'm easily lead.

I used to do a lot of jokes about crash mats, but I've moved on now.

Still, it's always nice to have something to fall back on.