Nerdgasm Thread

If anyone ever wants to buy me anything I want this:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/e95e/

I'd probably die the first few minutes of a zombie apocalypse... Or at least a couple of weeks.  I'd be too panicked to do anything.  I'd either get eaten by the zombies, or die of starvation/thirst.  I'm too timid for an apocalypse...

i will survive...I have an eccilent plan of stealing a tall ship stcke up with food and sailing it intoo the ocean where the zombies cant get me.
of course, this means i can save 27 other people as well

I plan on enjoying myself when the zombies break out. Like plan new ways to kill zombies every day.

"HEY ZOMBIE! MOVE BACK AND FORTH LIKE ONE OF THOSE DUCKS AT THE CARNIVAL!" *BANG!*

Someone named their dog Shadowhunter.... I approve of this name.

How To Be Free of Adds forever!

1. Open Google Chrome (install it if you don't have it.)
2. Search Adblock Plus
3. Open it
4. Instal it
5. Click on the stop sign in the top rigt corner of the browser
6. Enjoy freedom from commercialism!

I'M WATCHING A MAKING OF DIAGON ALLEY TV SPECIAL AND IT'S SO GREAT! I'M MENTALLY FREAKING OUT!! AHSINGKATOSGNOWEB

i have met sir Ian Mckellen
he has smiled at me

GANDALF
HAS
SMILED
AT
ME

....and because he was on a stage i managed to touch his leg
uhm

IM STILL HYPE

So I'm watching the star wars prequels over again and I'm finding there are a number of unexpected characters that could've been the true heroes of the galaxy if some things went differently.

5. Vulture Droids

So these droids from episode 1 tried to shoot down the young anakin skywalker who fell assbackwards into heroism...

How they could've been heroes: 
If they actually shot him down. Think of it! Without Anakin, there would've been no Darth Vader and thus no jedi genocide. So I'm sure galactic history now condemns those pilots that shot them down...

4. Boss Ness 

These aren't all going to be from episode 1 I promise. But anyway, this gungan leader is I'm fairly certain what George Lucas saw when he drank too much nyquil and looked in his fish tank. He originally wanted to punish Jar Jar for returning despite his exile...

How he could've been a hero:
If he didn't buy into any of the jedi's bullshit and rightfully imprisoned Jar Jar. Jedi are smart, they would've figured out how to navigate through the planet core by themselves. If he imprisoned Jar Jar, not only would the movie have been better but Palpatine wouldn't have been able to manipulate him into giving him emergency powers. 

3. Zam Wessel


An assassin from Episode 2 paid to kill senator amidala, she was a minor bad guy in the movies...

How she could've been a hero:
If she were actually good at killing people. She has about a million opportunities to kill Anakin in their chase but never once even scratches him. Isn't it kind of a prerequisite that assassins should be at least mildly proficient at shooting people? 

2. Watto


A junk dealer on Tatooine, this guy looks like a muppet's crack baby. He was the former owner of the slave Anakin Skywalker and his mother.

How he could've been a hero:
If he just accepted republic credits for business transactions. Think about it, if Qui Gon walked into his shop and went, 'Hey can I buy this? Here's republic credits" and Watto said, "Sure! Here you go!" not only would that have cut the movie run time down a lot but Qui Gon would never have discovered Anakin, never freed him and thus no Darth Vader.

Furthermore, if he didn't get greedy and sell Ani's mom, then Anakin wouldn't have lost her and wouldn't have been pushed closer to the dark side. However the impact of this one is debatable.

1. The Galactic Senate

The ruling body of the Republic, these guys ensure that all is well in the galaxy and make executive decisions together.

How they could've been heroes:
If they were a little bit more diligent in their reading. Surely Palpatine's executive orders must've been at least skimmed over by these guys. Did none of them really raise their hands and say, "Hey, what the hell?" when they read, 'Order 66= kill all the jedi'? Furthermore, they kept giving Palpatine more and more power but did any of them stop to think, "Hey one guy shouldn't be this powerful!' Also if Palpatine was leading them all by the nose, shouldn't one of them at least have noticed and opposed him?

I'm sure most of these questions can be answered in the expanded universe and I know the answers to a couple of them but it still seems like the jedi weren't the most capable people of stopping Palpatine, the god damn senate was!!

So hey, anyone know any scary video game music? I watched a video that was talking about this and I was wondering if anyone had any notable examples?

I have two:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8o8WpoZSF4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITObGdvx7x4

I seem to have a thing with temple music... (>*_*<)

I'll try and find an audio clip of it (I don't make any promises) but the music for the Torture Room in Shivers is the freakiest thing ever.

For those of you who don't know, Shivers is a 90's PC game that I absolutely love! It's a horror themed puzzle game and it's great.

How I totally proved the Hubble Telescope could've shown us Star Wars:

So a day ago, my dad and I were debating the hypocrisy to a statement 'Long time ago in a galaxy far far away'. I told him there was no contradiction. He asked me how could we possibly be viewing it if it happened a long time ago.

I told him with the Hubble telescope. After all, through the Hubble telescope, it's not showing us images in real time. After all we only get to see the progress of the sun (closest star to us) six minutes late. 

As the series supposedly took place 'far far away' and as objects farther away take longer to observe through the Hubble telescope, it's perfectly plausible for us to have seen Star Wars when it took place a 'long time ago in a galaxy far far away'.

BOOM!!

Top 5 Least Favorite Movie Characters

Since we already did a Top 5 favorite movie characters, I decided 'meh, I'm bored. Why not do the Top 5 Least favorite?'

5. Timmy/Dennis Nedry From Jurassic Park
I decided these two should share a spot because I dislike them on roughly the same level. So Dennis shuts down the security system for Jurassic park which really comes back to bite him in the ass by allowing a dinosaur to bite him in the ass. Through this idiotic move, he jump started the events at Jurassic Park that ruined an otherwise awesome attraction idea. But while Dennis's stupidity served a greedy end, Timmy's stupidity was only to have someone to save in that movie. There were at least 3 different times he had full capacity to save himself and the others but instead remained useless. He could've been a pretty interesting character if he contributed more but instead he remained a 'dude in distress.'

4. Gale Weathers from Scream
She was hands down the most annoying character in the Scream movies. Always stupid, always interfering in the movie, always obnoxious, always giving Sydney a hard time about her past... I've never routed for the Ghostface Killer EXCEPT when she's on screen. Then I'm like, "GO MAN GO!!' She's like the anti-Sydney for me (especially since Syndey is my favorite character in those movies). 

3. Everyone from Twilight
You all know why. Kind of cheating but if I didn't do it this way, all the Twilight characters would make up this entire list. So yeah. Next.

2. Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars Episode I-II
Okay, there's a reason why he trumps Jar Jar in my book. Jar Jar is annoying because he's completely out of place in the Star Wars universe and fails at comedy on fundamental levels, to the point where you feel a void where laughter should be. But I hate Anakin in episodes I-II more because Darth Vader is one of my favorite movie villains and is the icon for badassery in my book. So when Lukas makes the origins of the galaxy's greatest baddy an obnoxious little kid and a whiny bitch who probably listens to Marilyn Manson between jedi lessons... it just feels like that is one of the greatest crimes one can do to Star Wars. But I digress, I didn't include Anakin from Episode III on here because he does regain some of Vader's badassery in that movie. So hey, points to you Mr. Christenson. But please, don't appear as a force ghost. Vader would not look like you after he was dead.

1. Mutt from The Non-Existent Indiana Jones movie.
If I could steamroll this character, put him in a blender, fill that blender with gunpowder and dynamite, and shoot that blender into the sun... that STILL wouldn't be enough for me! This is the holocaust of Indiana Jones, the fricken end of him. First off he's Indy's kid. Fuck you first of all, for making this complete wimp the son of one of the greatest action heroes ever. Even Rick O'Connel had a badass son! If Indy's kid was a total badass like him, I would've been more receptive to him. But nope, we get this complete poser and dork-a-schmuck as the spawn of Indiana Jones and his coolest side kick Marion (whom I may also add becomes a washed up soccer mom in this piece of shit -_-). But the reason Marion isn't on this list is because of her awesomeness in Raiders of the Lost Ark. But Mutt, nope. He existed only in this movie and wasted Indy's and the movie watcher's time with his idiotic antics and pointless existence. Tell me, what would the movie have lost if he didn't exist? Granted it had little to begin with, but what would the movie have lost if Indy's son didn't exist? The answer is NOTHING. So they essentially ruined Indiana jones for a cheap cash in... thanks...

So yeah that's my list. I'd love to hear what you guys think are your least favorite characters!

For those of you who didn't know:

I WENT TO UNIVERSAL AND WENT TO DIAGON ALLEY THIS PAST WEEKEND!

HOLY SHIT ON A BISCUIT IT'S AMAZING! You all really need to go. I'm still reeling from the amazingness of it all.

O.O 

Want...

THEY SELL INTERACTIVE WANDS AND YOU CAN FUCKING DO MAGIC! DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT IS!!?? 

AND, THERE'S KNOCKTURN ALLEY! My new home away from home.

O.O


SUPER WANT

I HATE YOU

Thief:
The game where the horrid navigation fucks you up for days -_-

I seriously want this for my iPod! o.o

I'm watching Season 2 of Young Justice and am literally freaking out!

THE CHARACTERS HAVE CHANGED SO MUCH! BEAST BOY IS IN IT! ROBIN IS NIGHTWING! THERE'S A NEW ROBIN! ABGOWAIHTWBOEIB! -melts into a puddle of goo-

Why I DON’T hate Short Round
 
For those who don’t know, first off shame on you go see Indiana Jones, second Short Round is one of the two sidekicks in Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. He’s an Asian kid who manages to learn how to drive a car and gets caught up in Indy’s adventure to stop the evil Thuggee cult. He’s basically universally despised as a character in this movie on the grounds of being racially insensitive and just borderline annoying.
 
I however do NOT hate this character.
 
Hear me out.
 
Okay first off, I KNOW he’s a racist character. A blind, deaf, comatose lobotomy patient could tell you that. But let’s not act like the rest of the film isn’t. I don’t know much about Indian religions, I confess, but I’m fairly certain none of them involve taking out a still-living person’s heart. So hey, the whole movie is racist! Why blame the kid for a crime the whole movie is doing?
 
Next, he actually shares some good scenes with Indy and seems like a good polar to him. Whereas Indy is rough-and-tumble, Short Round is compassionate. But they both share a scoundrel’s charm, as demonstrated in a poker game the two were playing. Short Round accused Indy of cheating and caught him, only for Indy to find he was cheating as well. This created enough commonality between the two to make him likable.
 
And the last one, I cannot stress this one enough, look how he compares to the competition and here’s what I mean by that. Indy gets two sidekicks in this movie, Short Round and Willie Scott, and Willie I swear to god is the most annoying fucking thing EVER. She’s supposed to be the love interest for Indy in this movie, however the two share as much chemistry as a stapler and a donkey. Every time she’s on screen, she’s either being annoying, yelling, complaining or the worst of it all NOT dying. There’s a time where she actually saves Indy from death, and she’s bitching and moaning the whole way. I caught myself thinking, “You know what Indy? Get crushed to death. It’d be more dignified than being saved by her.” Later in the movie, she’s about to be killed by the villains (whom I’ll remind you endorsed human sacrifice and child slavery) and I found myself ROOTING FOR THEM. The mere prospect of an end to this irritating bitch actually made me put aside my morals for even a second and get onboard with the cultist.
 

But enough Willie bashing. She never wanted to go on this journey and constantly reminded the audience of it. Short Round on the other hand was fricken loving it. Anything he could do to help Indy, he did without hesitation. He never wanted a reward he just wanted to contribute. He admired Indy just like all the inner children in all of us and he actually made some very useful contributions to the effort. For example, he saved Indy from certain death a few times AND saved him from brainwashing AND freed the child slaves. Remember, Indy only had one sidekick up to this point named Marion, who was a kickass love interest and one of my favorite characters in those movies. She could fight, share funny banter, and help along the journey. Who comes closer to that mark? The productive and helpful Short Round or the screaming and whiny Willie? For these reasons, I am proud to say I do NOT hate Short Round despite popular opinion.

So here are 5 heroes who are actually worse than the bad guys they fight! So without further adieu...

5. HK-47 from KOTOR
First off, nothing against this character, I love him! I think he's one of the most awesome Star Wars droids ever! 

However while Darth Malak is causing untold destruction in the name of Sith Domination, HK 47 is causing untold destruction for the sake of untold destruction. A death-hungry battle droid, he's killed several of his former masters (excluding you thankfully) and countless people that he was ordered to kill and some 'freebies' as he calls them! O.o

So because of him, entire political systems were thrown into madness and millions of innocents were killed too... all because he defines love as 'making a shot to the knees of a target.' 

4. Alucard from Hellsing
I know what you're thinking, 'Wait Alucard fights a lost Nazi regime! How could he be worse than that?!" Well folks he can! Why? Because he used to be Vlad the Impaler! And by god, how much more evil can you get than a guy who went around putting sharp spears through people? The Nazis may have done a lot of bad shit, but you can bet ole hitler was taking notes from this guy!Even after that whole life, he mercilessly kills anything in his way and nothing delights him more than bloodshed nevermind whose blood...

3. Bad-Karma Cole from  Infamous
Yeah Kessler may have bombed the city but Bad Karma Cole sure as hell isn't making it better! Often putting the city into further depths of fear and degradation for his own selfish needs, this is one hero where the term hero is VERY loosely put on him.


2. The Dig Dug guy from Dig Dug
Kind of an obscure one but bare with me...
So this little bastard invades these critter's home who are not harming anyone and proceeds to violently blow them up... kinda fucked up when you think about it...


1. Mario from Mario games
Okay, Mario is messed up! Okay? Mario is messed up!
So he constantly goes out to defeat Bowser to save an airhead princess named Princess Peach. We all know the story. But while we were smashing koopas and laying waste to entire kingdoms, did we every think to ourselves, 'Did we ever try negotiation?' Yeah, I mean, these are two sovereign nations right? The Mushroom Kingdom and Bowser's kingdom? So why don't emissaries ever meet in a neutral location and discuss their differences to find a non-violent solution to all this? Instead, Mario goes fucking blood-hungry and massacres all of Bowsers people! Also tell me this, why is kidnapping the princess os bad anyway? Every time Mario finds her, she's not harmed or anything. So this leads me to believe she's being kept in humane condition. Hear that folks? Bowser is following the Geneva Convention! 

But Mario has spear headed god knows how many war crimes and slaughters against Bowser, without giving peace a single chance!!

But these are my thoughts! Do you guys have any?

So I'm re-watching Star Wars Episode 1 for the billionth time and I just was thinking about how it was a good thing that Qui-Gon died before Anakin became Darth Vader. Now, don't anyone start shooting at me, let me explain.

Qui-Gon believed from the very beginning that Anakin was a chosen one to bring peace to the Force. I think that it truly would have crushed his spirit to see Anakin turn into the force that destroyed the Jedi Knights. Obi-Wan was upset enough when Anakin turned and he didn't have the full belief that Qui-Gon had. Just thinking of what Qui-Gon would have felt, the betrayal he'd have to suffer through, is just heartbreaking.

So, that's why I say that it's good that he died when he did in Episode 1.

I can see your point but if Qui Gon hadn't died, he was a far more experienced jedi master than Obi Wan was. He may not have turned to the dark side in the first place! 

I mean who would you rather handle the training of a guy who's the Jesus of the Force?
A seasoned jedi master who clearly knows what he's doing and knows the will of the force?
An apprentice who had masterhood thrusted on him before he was properly trained to be a master?

Don't get me wrong, Obi Wan is awesome but still...