Amy Thread

So I'm basically resetting my characters as I've been away and I know there's a ton of stuff I missed.. and not to mention I can't really remember what they were doing right now....

seriously inaneness has like taken over my life but I'm doing a heel kick to it's face for some control back..

AMMMY


HIIII

^-^ heyyy!!!! how goes it?

i've been ok glad you're back! I'll be here if you want to RP :3

we've missed you

I've got Garret, Aqua and the twins set up for anyone :]

I've missed everyone as well.. I've got like three hours before work so at least thats better than none and I am off tomorrow so after I do a few things I'll be all forum for the day

damn, i have to go to taekwondo in the next hour or so but ill dump someone with Aqua
YOU'RE BACK FOR A WHILE
-happy dance-

as long as my hours stay about where they are now and I can keep a good sleep schedule I should be on at least a few hours everyday ^-^

yay! good to have you back -repeats self-

just in time for english holidays too lol

AMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

hellllo lovelies ^-^

The mighty Amy has returned to us!

So basically my life just spun into a whirlwind of insane chaos
Not really sure If I'm in my right mind at all..
or maybe this is how it's supposed to be
I'm so sick of bull shit reality..
this fantasy stuck in my head is where my mind lives
it's hard to always have to be some one your not so as to please others..
I'm a badass but I have to keep it locked away which blows
my mind moves faster than should humanly be possible


if I could just find the words for all these incredible thoughts I have endlessly it would be mind blowing.. but words don't do justice to anything I think any more.. I guess my levels have surpassed what they have been... I don't even know if this will make any sense. just the ramblings of numbed mind..

... I post some weird shit when I drink far too much.

been hanging around on Vampire Freaks a bit more like I used to.. might have some new recruits for us ^-^

That sounds awesome!

have you ever been on Vampire Freaks? its kinda where I got my internet start .. used to be well known around the "cults" (forums) and chats

I wasn't really sure where to put this until i remembered this thread. 

 So today my mental state took a dive for the worst. I'm not sure if it's just the last few years and everything I've been through slamming into my brain at once or if its just some freak mood crash... but i feel really lost and pretty broken lately... it's damn near crippling some times. I feel out of touch and alone... and honestly down right frightened of what i might do to attempt to rid myself of plaguing thoughts..

Don't do anything to cause yourself bodily harm, that's first and foremost. Secondly, maybe you should talk to someone. Maybe someone that doesn't know you irl. Sometimes anonymously unloading onto someone who is willing to listen and give advice is the best way to deal with emotional breakdowns. I know that sometimes just talking to you guys on here helps me sort stuff out.

If you don't wanna tell us, that's okay. Just find someone who is willing to listen. I find that someone who has no emotional ties to you sometimes works best.

We're here for you Amy, don't forget that.

I love you guys. So much. It's the only reason i felt comfortable saying that.... i just dont know anyone else who kinda get what I say and feel.  And right now i just want to be numb. I really can't handle anything more in my life. I'm dealing with just getting my dad back and it's like I'm losing him all over again to cancer. My family has fallen apart in ways i don't even understand. I grew up in a loving, tight knit, tell each other everything, stand together, family. And now it's a bunch of alcoholic/recovering addicts constantly throwing me in the middle of their issues with themselves/each other. It's baffling.  It's like my family is gone.... I'm struggling through teaching my brother how to handle a child with autism. And the little guys a genius and i feel like I'm the only one who gets him.. between that and my anxiety and struggling with work..It's just too muchm

Maybe you should surround yourself with people that won't drag you into drama. Sometimes spending some time a week with those people will help you take a break from that shit. Everyone needs a break from reality every now and then. That doesn't mean you have to go on a week long vacation every month or so, but just take a hour or even a day a week and unload. Surround yourself with mindless fun. It's amazing how much that can help you through shit.

Sometimes, it's just up to you to get everyone together in one place and say, "GUYS! We need to get our shit together!"

It isn't fair that you're the only one handling this. Everyone should be making an effort to help with all this. I understand having problems, but there comes a point where you can't handle a task alone nor should you.

Maybe it's just because I'm a direct kind of guy but still...

It's so hard to explain every aspect of this situation, but it's basically that no one listens to me unless i completely freak out. I have to reiterate my points and the logic behind them constantly.  It's so frustrating to have my level of intellect ignored or disregarded. And yet I'm expected to be Wonder Woman ... don't these people know I'm Harley? Analyzing thoughts and actions of those less stable then myself is what i do. And I'm pretty wicked at what i do.